Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
