dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
