so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
