They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
