Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
