we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
