summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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