in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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