VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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