I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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