ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
