My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
