Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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