This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
