he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
