so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
