just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
