..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
