I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My dick has a subreddit
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
