Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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