Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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