somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I wish you could order shots online.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
this hospital has no fireball
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize