its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It's never too late to be topless.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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