So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
