worst night to have a conscience
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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