Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
