Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
