Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
i out mim tonsoeep
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
