so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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