did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
