Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
