covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
