yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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