Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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