I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
