I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize