i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
