After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
did you just send me my own nude
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
