Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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