The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
