I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
