the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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