Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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