Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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