Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
