she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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