I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
