i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish i was in the wii world.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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