I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
