One girl and one boy is just not enough.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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