Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
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