we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Randomize