Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
