we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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