You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
