The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
