hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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