You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You're like the curious george of whores
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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