Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
