Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
