My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
